If you’ve recently found out that you are autistic or have ADHD, you might still be making sense of what that means for you. It can feel both clarifying and unsettling at the same time. Perhaps you’ve spent years learning how to cope, masking parts of yourself to fit into a world that often felt out of step with how you think and feel. It can take time to get to know yourself without the constant effort of fitting in.

At Deal and Walmer Counselling Service, we meet many adults who are coming to terms with a late diagnosis or who are beginning to recognise themselves as neurodivergent. Counselling can be a place to slow down, reflect, and begin working out what truly supports you, rather than what simply helps you get through.

Making Sense of the Past

Looking back can bring a mix of comfort and sadness. You might notice how much effort it took to keep up or to appear “fine,” even when you were struggling. For many people, the process of recognising themselves as neurodivergent is made harder by the way society talks about a supposed “rise” in autism and ADHD. In reality, this often reflects growing awareness and understanding, yet these narratives can still feed stigma and self-doubt. Wider cultural attitudes often overlook or dismiss neurodivergent experiences, adding to the pressure to appear “normal.” In therapy, there is space to unpack these influences and experiences, to recognise the ableism that can shape them, and to begin seeing your differences as valid parts of who you are rather than problems to be fixed.

Reconnecting with Your Real Self

A diagnosis can offer a new way of seeing yourself, though how it fits within your identity will be personal to you. Counselling can help you explore what place this understanding holds in your life, what feels authentic, what drains you, and what brings you calm or joy. It’s a space to rediscover your pace and your boundaries, and to find ways of living that feel more in tune with who you are.

Moving from Coping to Thriving

Many late-diagnosed adults reach a point where coping is no longer enough. Therapy can support you in discovering what helps you thrive, whether that’s structure, rest, creativity, or connection. It’s about building a life that works for you, rather than continually adjusting yourself to meet other people’s expectations.

A Space That Understands

At Deal and Walmer Counselling Service, we offer a calm and accepting space where neurodivergent adults and young people can explore life at their own pace. Whether you are beginning to wonder if you might be neurodivergent or have already received a diagnosis, counselling can provide understanding and support tailored to where you are right now. We recognise the impact that sensory needs, overwhelm, burnout, and stigma can have, and we focus on helping you build a sense of self-understanding that feels steady and sustainable. Therapy can also offer space to explore what adjustments or approaches might help you feel more comfortable and confident in daily life, wherever you are on your journey.

If you’d like to know more or arrange an initial conversation, please contact us through our online form. One of our team will be in touch to discuss how we can support you.

Written by Talia Handley, Deal and Walmer Counselling Service
Posted 20 October 2025